Again with the Daycare-Related Post

Thanks to all who gave me their thoughts on the situation described in the previous post. I have thought about things a lot, and I think I am overreacting. The teachers really have been nothing but nice when I'm around, despite having a crazy bunch of little guys to ride herd on. So what if the voice volume is a little higher?

I still have some concerns, though. The main one is that Naomi, normally a fan of school, has said every day either that she wants to be in the other class, or that she doesn't want to go to school at all. This is probably normal considering that she's getting to the age where she has figured out that she doesn't always want the same things for herself as the things that are frequently thrust upon her. School is thrust upon her every day, so it's not surprising that she has started to have something to say about it. On the other hand, wah!

It's hard to hear that she is not as happy now as she has been in the past.Her first transition, from the baby class to the teeny toddler class, was hardest on me. I actually cried on her last day, and made ridiculous personalized presents for the teachers so they would never forget my kid. Ha. For her part, Naomi talked about her old teachers a lot, but she seemed to really like being in the new class, and playing on all the great new playground equipment, and doing the songs and activities that went along with being a slightly bigger kid. For some reason this second transition, to the two-year-old class, is harder on her. She is the littlest in the class, one of very few girls. And I know she misses her teachers from the teeny toddler class, who were very sweet to her. Even so, it was clear for the last few weeks she was in that class that it was time to move up. There was a new influx of tinies from the baby class, and seeing all of them together made me realize that it was going to get frustrating and boring for her (am I really saying this?).

My other concern, which may or may not be related to the main concern, is that I've heard Naomi say a few things to her animals, usually when she is putting them down for a nap (a favorite past time), that were a little surprising. "Get that head down!" "Look in my eyes, you hear me?!" Yipes. This makes me think that naptime in the new class is not as relaxing as it should be.

In the interest of full disclosure, I will relate that I spent a year as a preschool teacher. My class was the "young 4's." Man, were they cute. The place that I worked had a very yelly head teacher, and she set the tone for how we interacted with the kids. This was particularly bad for me, as I can be a wimpy chameleon in work and social situations, so there were times when I got yelly too. Frequently, at naptime, I was determined that all my charges would sleep if I had to give myself a stroke making it happen. I am sure I said "Get that head down!" or worse tothese little ones. The result was that a bunch of kids that were probably developmentally ready to stop napping developed the ability to lie still and quiet for an hour or more in the middle of the day. Not necessarily the most useful skill outside of a monastery, but there you are.

Right. So getting all worked up over hearing Naomi bring home nap-coercion techniques that are (I promise) not learned from her parents feels on the one hand like my job as a mom, and on the other hand like a certain pot casting aspersions on a certain kettle. It is not going to be the first time that Naomi picks up something we're not crazy about. And the next time she does, rather than looking at Jim with horror and saying, did I just hear her right?! I will talk to her about using kind words with her animals, and with people. In the meantime I will ruminate endlessly about this very long test that is constantly being administered to me, wherein I have to decide whether to continue doing everything in my power to protect and shield my child within a world that is endlessly safe and kind and loving, or whether (and how quickly) I have to accept that she is part of the actual world, and everything that goes along with that. How lucky for her and for me that our version of the actual world is still so safe and kind and loving. Not so, in so many other places.