Super Mild-Mannered Rant

Today at Starbucks I got snaps from the cashier just for not being bitchy when someone cut in line to make some small demand or other of her. That seems like a pretty low standard to meet- she even said I was "awesome." Which of course I am (ha), but not because I'm too dull-witted in the morning to put someone in their place for bad queuing etiquette. It's easy to be easy on people when you're generally non-confrontational. And it's not awesome to have the confrontation internally, by which I mean, of course I can be plenty bitchy, just not always in the out loud sense.

Seems like, though, people all around are working on building their confrontation chops. Political engagement is a good thing, right? So why does it feel so bad? My friend from the Walla Walla outing lives squarely in the heart of "keep your kid home from school lest she hear the voice of the President" country, and has trained herself to express her opinions only in a very low voice. Which if you knew her, would mean even more. She's no shrinking violet. She stands up for people, and for herself. I guess it seems more normal now to feel like you have to be in a safe environment to state your views. I don't think the people next to us on the patio of the pizza joint were anything other than nosy, with their distinctly obvious eavesdropping (hope I'm not that obvious!), but still, she felt pressure to be discreet with her anecdotes about a particularly rare flavor of campaign sign that was repeatedly stolen in her neighborhood.

I guess, though, pressure is one thing, and actual confrontation quite another. It's easier on the Internet to see people punching at each other in print, but does it happen in the actual world, outside of shouty town halls and those "rallies" that always seem to be held on the big intersection by Whole Foods (any conjecture on this location choice?)? Are there people who can talk about their political and policy differences in a meaningful way? Is it happening, anywhere? Does anyone out there believe that people on the other side have any good sense, any good intentions?

I think every time we get going on the decline of civility or morality or discourse, it takes just one quick review of life in other decades, even other centuries, to see that of course everyone always feels that way. I would be delighted to read some old headline on microfiche declaring an unprecedented rise in the rate of general kindness and open-mindedness, with outbreaks of spirited yet friendly debate. I'm not exactly a student of history, maybe that has happened, once, sometime, somewhere? Is it pathetic and weak to yearn for it now? Have I been hanging around my princess-pony-sparkle-rainbow-shooting star-heart delegation too much? Am I not grown up enough to have the hard discussions? Yeah, I know, I'm asking, but for the love of Pete, go easy on me.